Travelers and Wanderers around the Universe

Monday, July 20, 2009

Missing Them... Terribly!

I don't know if it's just a hormonal change but I am deeply in pain thinking that my eldest brother is gone, that I would never see him anymore in this world. During my late brother's wake, I kept and tried my very best not to show my emotion because I wanted to be strong for my mother, my sister in law and her kids, and for my siblings. Although deep inside my heart was bleeding and wanted to scream.

It's when we came back here that I let go of my emotion, of what I feel, and just cried it out on my husband's shoulder. It's been almost a month since he died but I am still in denial of the whole truth. Every time I think of late brother and father, I feel like a thousand knives are going in and out of my heart.

I did not know that the ride he gave me during our visit last March will be my last ride with him. Please Lord, give me strength to carry on and accept the truth that he is now with You!

28 travelers' comments:

Dorothy L said...

I am so sorry for your sorrow and loss.
Losing loved ones is not something we ever get over. We eventually learn to cope with it. We never forget because they were part of who we are. This is why memories are sacred...without them we have no life history.

Our memories are what we take with our spirit. It is not the material things nor is it the actual human body.

Your brothers are in a happy place...be happy for them. Your sorrow is because you are still here...it is the ones left behind that suffer the most!

Look at the sun as it is like your brothers spirit...always there!


Huggz girl!

Momma Bams said...

Its not bad to grieve..sabi nga nila, mas mararamdaman mo sadness about 3 weeks after.. ilabas mo lang when you feel na magbuburst kana, wag mo pipigilan.. lilipas din yan. Be stronger =)

A.Marie said...

Oh Rose...I understand totally your pain. When my brother passed away, I would be fine and then the next moment I would be crying. Time does ease all hurts, but it does take just that...time.

I'm thinking about you today...

Clarissa said...

I hope that you will be more stronger on the time of your healing---if you want to cry,let it be--it's normal to grieve.Isipin mo a lang na palagi cyang nandyan para sa yo and your family.^_^Hugs!!

jodi said...

life must go on sabi nga nila, kahit medyo masakit yung pag alis nya dahil sobrang close kayo, isipin mo na lang na andun na sya sa lord na alam natin na masaya na sya doon...i know that it's not easy for you to accept the fact that he is not here, but you have to do something na para malimutan mo rin yung mga bagay na yan dahil marami rin sila na umaasa pa rin sayo..god bless you sis...

shydub said...

I feel you tsang, kaya nga death is my fear. mas gusto akong mauuna. I dont want to see any of myfamily you know, hard to say the word. But wherever your bro and father right now tsang they are always there watching over you and your family, as well as his family back home. Just be strong and pray that God will give you streght and be able to accept the truth. Although it is really hard, but little by little you will be able to accept it tsang. Ang bata pa naman ng brother mo ano.

My Memories and Crystals said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, we have nothing to do about it, life is like that, sometimes you're happy sometimes you're sad. But God really cares and He sees our pains and hurts, He understands... Just trust Him!

EUG said...

i'm sorry for your loss. hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat sinasabi para maconsole ang isang tao sa mga panahong ganito. ang alam ko mahirap at alam ko na all i can give you is a smile and a prayer for you and your family to be granted more strength to overcome the sorrow.

God Bless you and your lovely family, chubskulit.

Weng Forsgren said...

every time I open this blog and read your post I feel sad. nakakaiyak rose, honestly nakakasad yong story. Nawalan rin ako ng papa many many years back and I dont have brother at all, but I am happy i have 4 brother in law na matuturing brother na rin.

Di ko alam pag binasa ko yong post dito mapaiyak talaga ako. Kung sino pang mahalaga sa buhay natin sila pa yong kunin. minsan parang masabi ko rin na God is unfair.. but hindi naman natin masisi si God. Lets pray all the time to make us strong.

take care.

eden said...

i know that is hard for all of you Rose. I was having teary eyes reading this post.Time will help you to cope with your loss. Ganyan naman talaga ang life what will remain to us is the memories in our heart and life will go on.

have a nice day

katherine said...

Hi Rose, gosh, ngayong lang ako napasyal dito pero pina-iyak mo naman ako. Binasa ko lahat hanggang doon sa mga kapatid mo. Kakaiyak talaga ang story mo..

Sana lang okay ka na dyan, isipin mo na lang nasa kay lord na ang kapatid mo at may asawa ka naman na mapagmahal.

Sa mga kapatid mo naman, well, yon ang pinili nila, so moral support na lang ang kailangan nila. Financially, ah sabihin mo muna sa kanila na mag blog-blogging ka muna para may maipapadala...hehe joke, joke joke...

Pero yang 2 mong makulit hehehe..ganyan talaga pag magkasunod hehehehe. subukan mong dagdagan pa ng isa, yong gitna ang kawawa kasi kaaway nya ang panganay at bunso. Totoo yan Rose. Panganay naman at bunso ang mag kasundo.

Smile...

Seiko said...

My hearts aching upon reading this,'m so sorry to hear about your loss & grieveing Mommy Rose.Don't be shy to let that out.Be strong,we'll pray for you & your family.Hugs...

Phivos Nicolaides said...

Is this another 'new' blog?

nurseabie said...

Sorry for the loss. I know your brother is in the hands of our Almighty Lord.
In time you'll be able to cope with the loss. God bless.

Dhemz said...

May he will rest in peace sis....I agree with Bamz....let it out....wag mong kimkimin yung nararamdaman mo...scream if you would like to....it will affect you all the way....God is always there sis....I know for sure that he will give you courage and strength to cope up with all these happenings.

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Phoebe said...

namunduon man ako pakabasa kang post mo..i know sis dipisil yan n pig-aagihan mo..nawaran man ako tugang several years back..and s totoo lng, until now she keeps coming back s mga dreams ko..miss ko ng maray.

anyway, be strong n sna pirmi. i'm sure wherever ur bro is, he's resting in peace n..

if u need someone to chat dgd lang ako ha..ym ko beautifuljessie24 in case u want to add. pirmi mn ako online.

o sia, ingat n lng pirmi diyan. by the way, nsa south korea k palan? hubby ko bga dyan naga-work.

add ko ini s list ko pra mdali ko mahanap pag nagablog hop ako.

momgen said...

There is sunshine after the rain....Visiting...

Cecile said...

Rose, it is okay to grieve and cry. It will make you feel better when you let your emotions out. Lucky you, for you have a husband who lend his shoulder for you to cry on, supported hubby, too! I salute you for being a strong woman who have been through a lot and still standing, a rock for you own family as well as for your immediate family. I am sure in time wounds will heal...and your mother and brother's family will feel better. Condolence again, Rose.

G.O.D said...

naiyak nman ako sau ate may time na hirap tanggapin pero need to let go, i know mahirap accept kc xa na yung naging 2nd father nyo lahat, saka hirap accept sa pagkamatay nya sa nangyari sa knya we can his soul i know he's there always.

pehpot said...

in time sis.. in time..

you can always count Piolo to cheer you up.. I can ask him to dance sinlge ladies to you LOL

Make or Break

Teen Supermodels said...

i'm truly sorry to hear that :)

hoping that you've always had a great time :)

eden said...

just dropping by here, Rose. have a good Friday to all.. take care and god bless always

Jarlin Paul said...

I'm sorry for this loss, Rose. Pray to God, he is the only source at this point of time.

denani said...

Don't worry, Rose honey..
Just believe in your heart that your brother finally meet his true lover, God! He rests in peace.. no more pain.. no more hurt feeling.. only peace! He does happy there, honey!

Now, stand up your shoulder and cheer up.. your husband needs you as well as your lovely children. Show them that you're strong, have a big heart and I'm sure the pain will go away.. ^_^

rj's mama said...

hi! i stayed in daraga when i was in high school ;)

nuts said...

my heart is crying with you and i'm actually in tears right now reading your post. i know you are still facing that stage right now. Be strong!

lolit said...

just be strong Rose.i can say it more easily bec i am not in your position,but don't get me wrong,i sympathized with you since the first time i read your blog about his death. We filipinos have difficulty overcoming loss of a loved one.

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